Be A Better Lover According To Your Dosha
Before we begin, for the uninitiated, check out last year’s blog for a full explanation on what doshas are. Dosha’s can be used to optimize our diets, our skincare regimes, our sleeping and exercise patterns and also our interpersonal relationships- just in time for Valentine’s Day! If you know your dominant dosha, or your partners dominant dosha, you can use that knowledge to help understand each-other’s love language and how to better take care of one another.
The Kind-hearted Kapha
I’m starting with my favorite: Kapha dosha. If you crave a warm-hearted and sincere partner, you need the teddy-bear-like Kapha. Governed by water and earth, Kapha’s are the stable, dependable and nurturing energy in your relationship. Known to be generous listeners, a Kapha’s attention tunes in beneath the words to the heart of the matter and will make you feel truly seen, heard & understood. At the very least, a Kapha will be able to impart deep insight into the situation that most people would miss. If you’re going through a rough patch, you want the loyal and steadfast Kapha in your corner.
While the slow, steady energy of Kapha can be great to get you through a trying time, it can also be frustrating to try and motivate a Kapha into action. These are creatures of comfort and would rather netflix & chill, than be the movers and shakers in your life. Out of balance, Kapha’s can be possessive, lethargic, negligent towards their own self-care (because they’re taking care of you) and can tend towards depression and weight gain.
If you’re the Kapha in the relationship, please remember to give some of your abundant tenderness and love to your self once in a while! If you’re with a Kapha, book them a spa day for Valentine’s because they most certainly won’t do it for themselves, or give them a loving massage at home and patiently listen to what they need. Kapha’s easily lose themselves in the people they love and showing your Kapha partner love means reminding them that their needs are important too!
The Passionate Pitta
The high octane Pitta is governed by fire and water and can be dynamic, determined and intense. These are the driven, doers in your life who like to be in charge and get things done. Sharp, passionate and a little bit of a “know it all,” Pittas are the energy you need in life to motivate you, to encourage adventure and to ignite your own inner fire. Feeling stuck or stagnant? If you can get the Pitta to sit and pay attention long enough to listen to you, they will offer 100 solutions and will impart as much of their own passion onto you as possible to get your out of your own inertia. A healthy Pitta is courageous, confident and can hold a greater sense of vision than most.
While the enthusiasm of the Pitta can be much needed in time of stagnation or lack of inspiration, Pitta’s fire can indeed burn you. An out of balance Pitta can be short-tempered and argumentative. Their irritability presents as impatient, judgmental and a rigid belief system that can’t see outside of their own perspective.
The highly intelligent Pitta craves being around people with equally agile minds, so if you’re the Pitta here, you’ll do well in a partnership of high-wit and you’ll know you’re with the one when they can get you to consider a perspective other than your own! If you’re with a Pitta, show them some love on Valentine’s day by doing something for them (while still letting them lead). This dosha is so used to feeling like they do everything themselves (!) they really need the TLC on Valentine’s but without feeling like they aren’t in charge. The best gift for a Pitta for Valentine’s is giving them options, so they still get to pick what they’re doing and feel like they’re in their natural position of leader.
The Vibrant Vata
Super-charged with creativity & intuition, the Vata is governed by the elements of air and ether. These are the artists, the dreamers, the idealists with a thousand ideas a minute who make for great conversationalists and hold a natural sense of expansiveness. These expressive lovers will never be boring and bring innovation and imagination to life. Their elevated minds can impart great enthusiasm and they also make for empathic and sensitive partners with high-spontaneity and a playful spirit.
A Vata out of balance can be easily agitated, hypersensitive with rapid changes in mood, including feeling scattered and spacey with a lack of direction. This multi-passionate dosha tends to start more projects than they can finish and can suffer from insomnia and anxiety. They mean well but their lack of focus can lead them to be seen as unpredictable and a bit flaky. An agitated Vata tends to create chaos by overcommitting themselves to activities and turning themselves into a frazzled, excitable mess that’s too distracted to be present in a relationship.
If you’re the Vata in the relationship, take care of yourself by grounding activities like meditation and make sure to get regular and restful sleep so that are able to bring some focus to your relationship. Learn to slow it down and ground yourself to be present with your partner. If you’re with a Vata, remember that they need predictability and structure in relationships. These buoyant beings respond well to someone who makes decisions and provides a stable, grounded place for a vata to call home. Show your vata some love by fully planning out your Vday, so the vata just has to show up and be their bubbly, easily distracted selves without having to worry about it.
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